why should I care

Why do you care?

Men often complain that they do not understand women; some women claim to understand men. Often we don't understand ourselves. Sometimes I surprise myself, I do things I wouldn't expect the person I imagine myself to be, to do.

A few years ago I visited my brother while he was living in Poland. I remember him saying something about nationalism being stupid. Why should I feel an affinity to a sportsperson or musician from my country? Why should I feel proud, or in in fact more often ashamed, of the performance of the Norwegian football team? What decides which people or things we choose to associate ourselves with?

It can actually be quite interesting to consider which people I've made an effort to become friends with since moving to London. The first couple of weeks were full of events for getting to know people. Looking back now, it shocks me how natural it is to decide whether or not you want to get to know the person facing you - even before a single word has been spoken. He never even stood a chance. What makes you write someone off? Things like this say surprisingly much about us, uncomfortable as it may be; reflection is important.

This year I bought myself a Christmas present for the first time. When I graduated high school I was voted the funniest grouch by my peers. At times I've even been said to resemble eeyore. For as long as I can remember I've had the reputation of being rather pessimistic and negative. Despite not being willing to give up the core of my character, I have discovered the power of positive thinking. So behind drawn curtains, when no one is looking I peak into my "inspirations calendar 2010." The cover reads "The secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do." It's deeper than you think, there is some truth beneath the cliché. This calendar of mine also sheds some light on the mystery of friendship; this may very well in fact be my favourite quote so far: "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." There is a profound beauty in friendship, true friendship is amazing. It leaves me thinking about how we choose friends. Why do I let some people in and shut others out. What makes me willing to walk three extra miles with one person, but give another the cold shoulder? Real friends stick by each other through adversity, even if one hurts the other. Yet if someone else had hurt me in that way I might never speak to him again.

Friends are picked for reasons as vain as their nationality.
I wonder how many friends I've shrugged off.

The 2009 Christmas Diaries II

On of my courses this term has been Chemical Equilibria. I find there is something fascinating about equilibria. It's all about finding the right balance - in contrast to humans, this seems to be intrinsic to nature. In Chemistry there is a constant relationship between products and reactants at equilibrium, at set conditions (temperature, pressure etc.) Somehow the reaction will always give the same percentage yield - there is something natural about the equilibrium, in a sense it is the way it was meant to be. Though as with all equilibria, chemical equilibria can be manipulated by changing variables. As long as one knows what one is doing this is very useful, it is in fact the very foundation of chemical indusrry. In some cases it is very useful that equilibria are fragile, yet in other instances it can create serious problems. Nature is perhaps the best example of this. Though the environmental issues we face today are far more complex than a simple chemical reaction, the equilibria of nature are manipulated just as easily as the chemical reactions in industry.

Other equilibria are also easily disturbed. Relationships within a group of friends can be disturbed dramatically by the addition of another member. Friendships are highly dynamic and although we may not want our new friends to impact the relationships we already have, they tend to do so. Obviously this needn't be a bad thing - it just somehow seems that it often is. In our daily lives we are constantly juggling responsibilities, the natural equilibria of nature seem far away. How easy it is to overprioritize one thing, only to overcompensate later.


Christmas Cliché II: Prioritising work may seem important, but make sure it doesn't affect the things you care about the most. And remember, there's seldom a better time than the present, though the pastures of the future may look greener; you only live once!

The 2009 Christmas Diaries I

As the train left the centre of London behind I found myself engulfed in a British winter wonderland. The countryside actually looked rather idyllic clothed in white. The cottages and the rolling hills surrounding them reminded me of scenes from movies, all to rare in the real world. Snow doesn't usually settle in England, sure, there is usually a light snowfall one night close to New Year's Eve, but this was different. The coast of North Wales was considerably milder than the shocking cold London. I even went running with my brother yesterday, unsurprisingly not the most enjoyable experience ever - I felt like throwing up after the first hill... Oh, and on a lighter note - yesterday Fulham beat Manchester United, just thought I'd put that out there; now football results don't get much better than that.

Usually I spend my time at home in Wales lounging in bed engulfed in a novel, or staring at my computer screen; breakfast becomes a distant memory and 1 pm becomes the new 8 am. If I feel the need to eat more than one meal a day I'll have some ice cream or a couple of mince pies. Well, this Christmas that is all going to change (a pre-New Year resolution), not only has my brother decided to put me through a strict work-out regime; I have finals my first week back in January - and 3000 power point slides of notes to cover, in addition to the five last years worth of past papers. So, if I have to suffer - so should you. I'll be sharing some titbits of my studies in every blog this christmas, in addition to a very special christmas cliché.

One thing that has struck me this year is the extent to which science is dumbed down in order for students and other mere mortals to understand. I love the way atoms and molecules are personified and given titles such as chaperones. Humans seem to be the only things we can understand, so why try to pretend that everything is like us in order for us to understand. It's fair enough I guess, after all I do it myself all the time. In fear of boring my readers or indeed scaring you off after reading just one Christmas Chemistry Special, I have decided not to share the intricate delights of spectroscopy. Everyone loves histroy, hence the first Christmas Chemistry Special of 2009 is a brief insight into the scandalous history of modern science.

In 1904 the Austrian physicist Ludwig Boltzmann introduced the Boltzmann Distribution, which today is one of the cornerstones of understanding molecular systems. Many scientists refused to accept his work, however, and devoted their studies to disproving his theories. The attacks became so intense that in fear of his life's work collapsing on him Boltzmann comitted suicide just two years after publishing it; ironically his work was confirmed by experiment ahortly after his death.

Christmas Cliché I: Don't let any single thing become so important to you that if you loose it - you loose it all. (Don't put all your eggs in one basket)

time is overrated

The clock is ticking, but time is standing still....

My friend told me that her clock had stopped working - but it was still ticking. From time to time, we all want time to stand still. There is quite simply too much to do, and too little time.

My volleyball coach at the university wants me to join another team he coaches, London Lynx. The Lynx play in the English Premier Division, so this is quite an opertunity for me to improve. Practice is all about improving, but it is so much easier to improve if you are playing with people that are better than you. This is the case in all areas of life, it's one of the reasons I wanted to move to London and study at Imperial. Today I was supposed to bring £27 and two photos of me to practice. That was what my coach needed in order to register me for the Premier Division. Well, this moring came, but I still didn't have the money or the pictures. I got up a little before 11 am so that I could get free breakfast in the Willis Jackson common room. Practice begins at 12, and it takes 20 minutes to walk to the Ethos centre, so I figured I'd have enough time to get the cash and have the pictures taken on the way. I didn't leave my room untill 11.35, and somehow the picture booth I was convinced I had seen in the tube station, had vanished. Well, that was inconvenient, most inconsiderate considering the fact that I didn't have the time for this. I ran back to a photo shop where I knew I could get the pictures taken; but time was racing by - and the shop owner was not. He was dealing with the customers ahead of me so slowly, it almost seemed as if it was all planned as a cruel joke. Now, I must add that being late to volleyball practice is slightly more serious than it sounds. My coach hates people being late, and makes a show of demanding five push-ups for every minute you come late. Those of you that know me well realise that I am rather lazy, and not the biggest fan of push-ups around. Although I wanted to tell the shop-keeper to hurry up, I was able to restrain myself; settling with casting impatient glances at the clock on my mobile phone. As my pictures were printed out, I got ready to pay, only to realise that the guy was getting ready to carefully cut out the pictures, removing the white frame around them. I couldn't believe it! As I left the shop it was already past twelve and I still had to run from South Kensington Station to Ethos. One of my natural abilities I treasure the most, is being able to sneak around and seem inconspicuous, despite my height; arriving at least ten minutes late, I was somehow able to evade the fifty looming push-ups. In the end I didn't even need the pictures, I won't be able to register untill tuesday.

When I was in the picture shop I wished time would stand still. I wished life would go on, and leave time behind. I wished life would keep on ticking, without any clocks in the world moving. Time is something we all wish we have more of. I'm halfway to fourty, and my life has barely started!!! Yes you guessed right, time for a cliché. But seriously, if there was more time, we'd just make more plans - we'd be just as busy, we'd still be wishing we had more time. Besides, we don't want to give up the best excuse ever, now do we? "sorry, I don't have the time."