the second chance - at last

Today I watched Second Chance starring Michael W Smith. I don't really know what I think of it. First of all I must confess that when it comes to watching movies I am rather naïve, I'll fall for and enjoy almost any story line. So when watching the movie I wasn't really that critical. Although the plot is ever so slightly cliche, and the acting isn't the best I've ever seen - it was actually OK. As religious movies go it was actually quite enjoyable. The plot is predictable, but as long as you try not to think too much, you'll be OK. I must say though, that the message of the film is a good one, it runs along the same lines as "The Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns. Although I find the song by Casting Crowns more compelling, Michael W and the crew do a decent job as well.

You may be wondering where I heard of the movie in the first place. Those of you that know me realise that in general I don't like Christian tv-shows or movies, such as 7th Heaven. Actually, I found the picture in this post while searching for something quite different. I was looking for an illustration of one of my earlier posts. This leads me to the second part of this blog "at last." Today I actually took a stand. Though most of you must be sick of hearing about my inability to make up my mind, I must add just one more thing. Today I walked over to my volleyball coach and told him about my situation. I don't know what he was thinking, but it turned out OK in the end, he even asked me to join another team he coaches... Now obviously this doesn't mean that I've made up my mind about everything ;p there is still a long way to go, yet I cannot help but feel relieved that I finally made up my mind about which road to take - and that I ended up taking a right.

volleyball and the tube

Whoever said that university life was hectic, sure is right. Add the buzz of a metropolitan capital to that and you've got my first week so far. Yesterday was the day i treated myself to the pizza hut buffet, which was nice enough, but also reminded me that stuffing oneself full of greasy food is rather gross. (By the way, gross is a word that makes me think of what the word describes just by looking at it; who came up with that spelling????) I also went to my first Imperial College volleyball practice last night. The gym in Wilson House was pretty crowded, but it was still great to be playing again! Half-way through the practice I was told that I hade made the team, which is great, but which also brings me to this next issue. You may remember that I wrote about taking a stand for what you believe in and living up to the consequences a few weeks ago. I also wrote that I needed to make my mind up about some core issues before I began studying; well, I didn't really. As I had predicted I was forced to decide last night. Sly as I am I managed to sneak away and evade the problem, but I'm going to have to face it, VERY soon.

At the freshers fair I realised that the people I had been looking for, the kind of people I want to get to know can be found in Imperial's clubs and societies. Having common interests is a great way to start off stimulating relationships. I guess it's kind of obvious that I'd find these people in the societies I am interested in joing. Obviously friendships are based on more than merely having things in common; some of the people i find the most annoying have one or more of the same interests as me. A place full of people with my passions and hobbies is a great place to start looking though.

After volleyball practice fate had something very specific in store for me. I experienced being stuck in the tube for almost an hour. Although this was really inconvenient and annoying, especially since I had to walk all the way home, I guess it's one of those things you just need to experience whilst in London. Because of the delay on the train I also got to know Owen and Pro from volleyball. I actually ended up showing Pro the way back to Imperial since we were forced to get off the underground earlier than we had planned (good deed of the day). Cyprus has been my dream vacation destination for years, so making a Cypriot friend comes in at a good second place.

Change

Change is good, change is important. Although the familiar may be safe, safe isn't always enough. Little is accomplished without risk, and there is little contentment without accomplishment. Change can be a challenge, but it can also set us free. Sooner or later we need to break free from the mold, drop everything and start anew.

I'm moving next week, into the city, to London. Although moving is a big step I need change. I need to be free of people's expectations. I want a clean slate, a new start. Meeting people who have no preconseptions, a chance to remake me. Obviously I don't want to become someone I'm not, in fact I want the opposite. That is why I need to move. I need to be able to be myself, not the person everyone expects me to be. Have you ever noticed that you change according to who you are around? To some extent you become the person the people you are with believe you are.

A chance like this doesn't come around every day, even if it could I wouldn't want it to. Change can be painful; in fact, too much change is no better than none at all. Because of the magnitude and rarity of changes like this one I need to make sure I make the most of it, though. This leads me back to my discussion of decisions. Answers are often elusive; who knew it could be so difficult for me to make up my mind! I need to decide who I really am and who I want to become. Through the years my identity has been determined by who I chose to please. Pleasing people has been such a major part of my life, that without knowing it, it has dictated my personality. This has made me divided. I need to choose though, who am I?

As if this was not enough, the world is also divided. In fact the world is quite a bargain, many for the price of one. Which one do we choose? Growing up in a conservative home I am now faced with the daunting task of deciding which world I want. Do I hold onto what I have, or do I embrace the world "out there"? Although I thought I'd already made this decision, I have realised that this isn't the case. I still haven't chosen where I belong. Now, one week before I move, and the birth of the new me; I have yet to decide. Like it or not I need to make up my mind. If i don't now, I'll soon be forced to.

Decisions

We are constantly making decisions; life is all about making decisions. Making the right decisions isn't always easy though. Part of life will always be living with the consequences of decisions already made; some we regret, others we don't. Although decisions can be postponed, sooner or later we will arive at the crossroads, a decision is inevitable. The probability of regretting a decision tends to increase when decisions are rushed. Plan ahead, or live with the consequences.

At the moment I am at such a point in life. I've spent the past four months trying to make up my mind, but have yet to make a final decision. If I don't make up my mind soon though, I'll be forced to decide on the fly, and most likely live with regret. Time flies endlessly by, we need to stop, take a step back and spend the time necessary to figure things out. I will do so this week, I have to. Do you?