tea and crumpets

On my way to the library to hand back the two last books in the Roman series by Simon Scarrow; I couldn't help but laugh as I turned off Fulham Road. Through the large windows of the building I could see two middle aged men gazing at paintings of nude women which covered all four of the room's walls. Both men were carrying half full glases of dark red wine, casting superior glances around the room; one appeared to be the artist, the other a potential customer. The whole scene was so absurd though, as if from another planet, allthough I guess Chelsea is, in a sense, just that.

To all you Americans out there: Today I had tea for breakfast, and crumpets for tea - soon I'll be the living personification of your British stereotype...

life insurance

There's nothing like blogging to escape from studying.... It's the perfect excuse, might even qualify as being constructive. Today I've pretty much stayed in bed all day; trying to kill a bug I picked up a couple of days ago, before it gets too snug and comfortable. To be fair, being sick is another great excuse for mindlessly letting the day slip away. This is why I'm not giving myself too hard a time about having been unproductive today, though I did promise myself I'd spend a couple of hours working on my lab report. Fourty five minutes ago I finally got a grip, sat myself down at my desk in front of my computer, and got started. It didn't last long though, hence this post and all my excuses.

On Friday night I lay in bed with a pen, a pencil and a Bible. Hearing about Kirsten being killed in Micronesia made my most prominent issue with Christianity surface with a splash. Isn't God supposed to protect the people that work for Him? Among others, I read all the chapters that had protect in them, both from the NIV and ESV. To my surprise I was actually enjoying myself, I was reminded of why I chose to spend a year of my life studying theology - it almost made me miss it. Although Christians explain the pain in the world as being the work of evil, not of God, they do not deny that God has the power to intervene. This view, shared by the ancient Jews, but to a more radical extent, is evident in the Old Testament (2 Samuel 24, 1 Chronicles 21) where two authors telling the same story disagree on whether God or Satan instigated events. Bible critics love passages such as these; how could two passages which contradict each other so blatantly be inspired by the same God. Jews can live with the contradiction quite happily though, ancient Jews especiallt, they saw everything that happened as coming from God; simply because allowing something to happen essentially is the same as doing it yourself.

My experience is that Christians agree with Jews in principle, but complicate issues by giving God the credit for that which is good, and the devil for that which is evil. Perhaps subconciously they try to seperate God from evil, which creates an oversimplistic dynamic that comes back to haunt them. Either God is intricately involved in everything that happens, or He set things in motion and is now watching things play out. The problem with distancing God from evil is that you essentially are left with a God intricately involved in all good things, but who suddenly sits back looking on from afar when we discuss the hurt in our lives. My mother was killed by accident, Kirsten was killed with intent; yet an omnipotent God could have kept them both from dying. In ancient Jewish perspective God might as well have killed them. Although this may seem troubling, this is also what Christians believe, they are just too afraid to say it - one might claim they have every reason to be. In a way it is similar to a doctor consciously deciding not to treat a mortally wounded patient who could be saved. This is a painful image, how can parents forgive and learn to love this doctor, whose patient was their daughter; or a son forgive the doctor who chose not to save his mother? Christians may not like this potrayal of their all-loving God, yet I believe it is essential that they accept that this is exactly what they claim to believe in. By claiming that God is not directly responsible, they essentially state that he was not capable of intervening- what kind of a god is that? It most definitely is not the God of the Bible.

Now, you may be wondering what this has to do with my biblical study of protection. I think most Christians believe that God protects them - perhaps He does. But I couldn't find a single text that promised God would protect those that believe in Him. Christians may be confused and angry when God lets their loved ones die, but do they have any reason to be? Death, pain and suffering are facts of life on earth, when did God promise Christians preferential treatment?

brute life

Although I never knew Kirsten, I studied at the same university as her last year; hearing about her death really made me stop up and think. (http://news.adventist.org/2009/11/adventist-student-mi.html) I guess that's what death does best - stop life in its tracks. The brute realities of life sometimes makes existance seem rather pointless, at least my present existence. What difference am I really making? If I'm not making that much of a difference, am I at least enjoying life?? If my life neither creates hapiness for myself or others, it is rather pointless. Melancholy aside, tragedies like this one do put things into perspective. These past few days I've been reflecting on what I want with my life. Where do I want to go, and what do I want to do? I've decided I am going to start volunteering. I did sign up for an induction session to the volunteering society at Imperial, but it was fully booked, and I haven't given it much thought since. Even if my efforts shouldn't do others much good - at least I will be able to feel good about myself. And I really want to go travelling - maybe to Scotland...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A41eQNQEYE

cornered on the tube

Two men in dark suits stepped into my carridge of the circle line train while I was on my way to volleyball practice. I glanced twice at the second of the two men, trying to make out the writing on the badge he wore on his suit. I could make out "Jesus Christ" in bold white letters on the dark background, but no more. As if noticing my lingering glances he looked at me a couple of times; whilst I desperately tried to look away with a preoccupied frown. The last thing I needed now was for this guy to decide that I was the perfect prey for his outreach program. Desperately, I tried to look calm, as if oblivious to my suroundings with the music from my MP3 player buzzing in my ears. Although I was staring at the tube map, spread across the wall of the carridge I saw him look at me again, out of the corner of my eye. Then it happened, as I had dreaded, he motioned toward me, getting his companion's attention. Discreetly the other man turned his head and shot a glance in my direction; I might not have noticed had he not already been the focus of my attention. I was praying for the train to arrive at my stop, but before I'd even finsished that though, the man took a couple of steps toward me - his intentions were clear. I took the left earplug out of my ear and braced myself for the inevitable "are you saved?"

Instead his asked me "do you play for imperial?" I was caught entirely off guard as I stammered a yes of some sort or other. It turned out that they had been looking in my direction because of my imperial college shorts, kneepad and tyrifjord volleyball klubb jacket with its norwegian logo; one of the two men was norwegian, and the other played volleyball - sometimes things aren't as they seem.

words fail me

So this is my third attempt at writing a blog post this evening. It's strange how sometimes words just dry up and refuse to present themselves the way they usually do. It's not that I haven't experienced anything. Today alone I've stuck my nose in a thick layer of fat on top of my microwaved milk that for some reason just wouldn't run into my mouth; I've ENJOYED running, only to be hampered by the the feeling of shin splints lurking in my legs. I saw a perfect reflection of the bridge over the serpentine (unlike the picture above it was at night), and I saw a duck dive into the river never to reappear. I've also had a great talk with one of the coolest people ever over skype, washed clothes, and even done some studying. Now that should be plenty to write about, yet you're stuck with this - tough luck.

far from here

Having written about how great the weather has been yesterday - today was prettey much bound to be a lousy day. The sky is a heavy, depressing grey, and everything is wet. As I walked back from uni the drizzle turned into a proper shower, the downpour began as I turned onto Roland Gardens - so I increased my stride leaving the beat of "Time is a Runaway" by The Alternate Routes, behind. It didn't help, though; I was soaked by the time I got back to my room.

Today made me think of Alissa Moreno's song "Far from here." The song is basically about looking to the future in order to make it through the present. Hope for the future is a great motivational factor, yet is it enough? We're consumed with looking forward to things - letting what the future holds dictate the mood of the present. Kids look forward to getting older so that they can stay up later, teens look forward to getting their license, students look forward to graduating, I could go on. By waiting for the future, we deprive ourselves of the present.

Although I recognise the carefree joys of childhood, and the excitement of professional life; students have the best of both worlds. I'm old enough to do basically whatever I like, yet I'm young enough to behave like a kid without having anyone judge me too harshly. I'm going to make the most of my time as a student - instead of constantly wishing I was far from here.

autumn paradise

I love autumn!

Now that's quite a statement, especially coming from a chronic melancholic. As I walked to uni today, along the road where I saw the Indian president and her entourage, I found myself wading through oak leaves. There is something very special about wading, I can't quite explain it. Wading in leaves is kind of like wading in water, which is also very nice. After my last lecture, which finished at 12, I walked through Hyde Park on my way to the Kensington Central Library. I felt happy, truly happy deep down. Perhaps it was because I had no labs today and could leave early. Or maybe it was because I had understood everything in the lecture, and was left feeling really good about myself. It may have been because of the crisp clear air and faint breeze that prickled my face, while the rest of my body was snuggled down in my jacket; which today wasn't too hot, because of the lower temperature. Also, the sky was completely clear, and I could almost feel the blue colour in the distance. Most likely it was a combination of all these things, and a few more.

This experience may not seem at all significant to you, but to me it was amazing. Feeling utterly content is a rare feeling in my world, probably because I think too much. Today was perfect. As I entered Kensington Gardens I could see the Albert Memorial framed by a row of golden oak trees on both sides of a wide expance of grass, where we had played halls football a couple of weeks ago. I turned left towards High Street Kensington and waded on through the leaves scattered along the path. You can argue the case for pine trees as much as you like, but in my world deciduous trees win any day. That's one of the things I love about England; there are so many old majestic trees, many of which seem to have found their way to Hyde Park.

I can't ever remember liking autumn before. I associate autumn with mud, cold and the colour grey - none of which are particularly endearing. Normally autumn in London would probably be much like the autumns I've already experienced. Rain and bad weather is often associated with London, especially during the autumn months. I've lived in London for a month now, and I have yet to buy an umbrella; I think that must be some sort of a record. The reason for not buying one isn't merely that I am stingy either; in fact I can only remember needing one on two occasions this past month... I dare say my luck is about to run out - but for as long as it lasts I'll make sure I am enjoying my awesome autumn.