here we go again

Another short night, early morning, long day, unhappy knees, endless border control, humid heat. Fleeing from one busy life to another - changing to the same; but hopefully same will somehow be different. I'll let you know how it goes.

it's really happening....

Today I wrote instructions for my successor, cleared my desk and said my goodbyes - I am officially finished teaching!! For now. Finishing teaching is the beginning of moving on. Leaving the safe and sound to challenge the world. Two days from now I'll be sitting on a plane bound for Munich. Somehow or other I'll have to get from the airport to some place out in the middle of who knows where, in Austria. Finally my basic German skills will be put to the test. From there I fly to London, where I'll be moving in to my new room, with my new room mate, at my new university; it's really happening.

Although teaching has been OK, and despite the fact that I feel I've actually made a contribution to the lives of people I care about, being finished is a relief. Now I can just lie back and enjoy my last few days in Norway. Change is good. Change is exciting. Change is happening right here, right now. Adventure is important. If you don't have much excitement in your life I challenge you; I challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and live once in a while.

Change

Change is good, change is important. Although the familiar may be safe, safe isn't always enough. Little is accomplished without risk, and there is little contentment without accomplishment. Change can be a challenge, but it can also set us free. Sooner or later we need to break free from the mold, drop everything and start anew.

I'm moving next week, into the city, to London. Although moving is a big step I need change. I need to be free of people's expectations. I want a clean slate, a new start. Meeting people who have no preconseptions, a chance to remake me. Obviously I don't want to become someone I'm not, in fact I want the opposite. That is why I need to move. I need to be able to be myself, not the person everyone expects me to be. Have you ever noticed that you change according to who you are around? To some extent you become the person the people you are with believe you are.

A chance like this doesn't come around every day, even if it could I wouldn't want it to. Change can be painful; in fact, too much change is no better than none at all. Because of the magnitude and rarity of changes like this one I need to make sure I make the most of it, though. This leads me back to my discussion of decisions. Answers are often elusive; who knew it could be so difficult for me to make up my mind! I need to decide who I really am and who I want to become. Through the years my identity has been determined by who I chose to please. Pleasing people has been such a major part of my life, that without knowing it, it has dictated my personality. This has made me divided. I need to choose though, who am I?

As if this was not enough, the world is also divided. In fact the world is quite a bargain, many for the price of one. Which one do we choose? Growing up in a conservative home I am now faced with the daunting task of deciding which world I want. Do I hold onto what I have, or do I embrace the world "out there"? Although I thought I'd already made this decision, I have realised that this isn't the case. I still haven't chosen where I belong. Now, one week before I move, and the birth of the new me; I have yet to decide. Like it or not I need to make up my mind. If i don't now, I'll soon be forced to.